Reality TV not so fun for Jazz News Utah Jazz

LOS ANGELES ? On a recent episode of "Britain's Got Talent," a frumpy, middle-aged Scottish woman named Susan Boyle stepped on stage to face a skeptical panel of judges. You could just see it. Oh, boy, here it comes.

This will be embarrassing. But when she opened her mouth, she sang like an angel. Judges were touched. Audience members gave her a standing ovation. It was an all-around beautiful moment that even impressed professional curmudgeon Simon Cowell. Unfortunately for the Jazz, that's reality TV. This is reality NBA playoffs, where surprises happen, too, but not often. This probably isn't going to be one of them. Game 1 is history and so, almost certainly, are the Jazz. It's hard to figure any other way, when you consider that Mehmet Okur was still walking around in a suit at day's end. Equally important is that for almost half of Sunday's 113-100 loss to the Lakers, Kobe Bryant was really, really quiet. That's not to say he was nonexistent. With Bryant, the threat is almost as dangerous as the reality. Still, the Lakers led by 16 before Bryant even got warmed up. He didn't score his first points until two minutes remained in the first quarter, didn't get his second basket until three minutes remained in the half. Then he reminded everyone that this is still Kobe's planet. He made a turnaround fader, double-clutched in another shot and hit the ensuing free throw. Bryant ended the game with a ho-hum (for him) 24 points and the Jazz were left with the realization that no matter what they do about him, the Lakers have a lot of other things to throw at them. "They're definitely not a one-man team," said Jazz guard Ronnie Brewer, whose primary job was to follow Bryant from the time he hit the 405 freeway. How's this for a reality moment: The Lakers could beat the Jazz in this first-round series even without Bryant. Trevor Ariza had 21 points, Paul Gasol 20, Lamar Odom 13. It's tempting to compare this year to the Jazz's decent showing in the playoffs last year against the Lakers. But that would be wrong. Gone is Ronny Turiaf, who moved on to Golden State, but back with the Lakers are Andrew Bynum and Trevor Ariza, both of whom missed last year's series. Meanwhile, the Jazz are playing with a recuperating Carlos Boozer and without Okur. The Lakers are better and the Jazz are worse. Some things haven't changed since last year. Bryant is still terrific ? despite his quiet start ? and neither coach is satisfied with his team. Jerry Sloan said he liked his club's effort, but it was lacking the "nasty" his old teams used to have. Imagine that. The Jazz went out and got cuddly. Meanwhile, Laker coach Phil Jackson complained that Utah cutting the lead from 22 to nine was a bad sign. "I just don't think (the Lakers) are ready for the onslaught," he said. At least the Hollywood celebs were ready to go. Eddie Murphy showed up courtside in a designer tee shirt, jeans and sunglasses, waving to the crowd, posing and shaking hands. Mr. Beverly Hills Cop himself, working the Beverly Hills beat. Also courtside was TMZ gossip host Harvey Levin, there to record anyone who got happened to get caught without their makeup. (As if.) A row back and looking stately was Maria Shriver, wife of Ahhhhnold, the California governor. But it's not like the Lakers needed to call the Terminator for help. Kelsey Grammer, the sitcom shrink whom the Jazz could have used, had a baseline seat. "American Idol" host Ryan Seacrest popped in, too, just in case the Jazz pulled a Susan Boyle and shocked the world. It would have made a good "Idol" episode. As it turned out, there were no touching scenes of triumph for the frumpy underdogs, this time. Just a decent effort and a good, solid thumping. "It's virtually impossible to beat that team, given that kind of lead," said Sloan. Maybe that sort of thing only works in England. email: rock@desnews.com